A small change practically, a huge change emotionally

I've made a very small change to my About page today; I removed the word 'straight'. No, I'm not about to leave Andy for another woman, but I have accepted recently that I'm bisexual. It won't make a huge difference to my life because I'm happily married and I have no intention of changing that, but it's a relief to have finally figured it out.

It's something that I remember worrying about in my early teens. I definitely fancied boys but I started to worry that I also liked girls, and I was terrified about what my dad would say. I'd already heard him say on various occasions that if my sister or I 'decided' we were lesbian he'd disown us. So I buried it. Even when I found myself in bed with another woman in my late teens I still denied it, told myself we'd just been messing around. Even though I am an ardent supporter of gay rights I apparently had this enormous mental block when it came to my own feelings. I don't really know what caused that to change. I think I'd been mentally screaming it for years and I finally started listening. I told Andy around Christmas, and last week I told my mum. I was so scared; she's always been accepting of people being gay but sometimes people react differently when it's their own son or daughter. Thankfully she was fine with it. Whether that would have been the case if there was a chance of being in a relationship with a woman I don't know, but I hope not. We came to the mutual conclusion that we probably shouldn't tell my dad though, and I'm pretty okay with that. It won't make any difference to my life and it's stress that I don't need.

So it's taken me until the age of 29 to realise that I'm bisexual, but now I feel uncomfortable using the term to describe myself. Not because I think there's anything wrong with it, but because I feel like a bit of a fraud. I'm a cis-woman in a happy marriage to a cis-man, I have never and will never be in a relationship with a woman, and I have never and will never face any kind of discrimination based on my sexuality, so what right do I have to call myself anything other than straight? Can I identify as bisexual in spite of these things? I hope so because the fact remains that I am attracted to women. I am bisexual, and I am happy with that.

At least I didn't talk too much about sex, right?

The Very Easy Caterpillar

I probably should have ironed this before taking photos. And maybe cleaned the rug.

I made the most adorable t-shirt for Jack this evening. I found the idea here, via Pinterest (where else?), to make a Very Hungry Caterpillar from buttons. I've been meaning to get around to it for ages but I didn't have any buttons, so when I was at my mother-in-law's house this afternoon I asked if she had any red and green buttons I could have. She has several plastic bags full of buttons, so I wasn't too surprised when I found what I was looking for.

This is the easiest thing I've ever made. You just sew on the buttons and use black embroidery thread for the antennae. I can't wait to see how it looks on Jack tomorrow.

Pinterest And Pyjamas

As I mentioned in this post about Lego, I don't do sewing; the bags I made for that project was the first time I had ever used a sewing machine. When I saw this post from Pinstrosity challenging their readers to actually do a project they have pinned I figured I'd give it a shot.

I decided to make a pair of pyjamas for Jack. I used this tutorial from My Cotton Creations, and I used a gorgeously soft and fluffy fleece fabric (with a very cute dinosaur print!).

I have to say, this tutorial is amazing. It's so easy to follow, even for a complete beginner like me. The only problem I had was hemming the bottom cuffs as they were so small! Next time I might hem them before I sew them up. With a bigger child it probably wouldn't be a problem though.

I'm not sure if one leg is actually longer than the other or if it's just the way they're laid out.

I need to clean my rug.

And here they are being worn!

His favourite AC/DC song is Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

I think they turned out really well! I figured seeing as I could do the bottoms I'd have a go at the top too. I used a free pattern from Melly Sews for the basic shape. It unfortunately doesn't come with any instructions on how to sew it together though, and being the complete novice that I am I had no idea what to do. Back to Pinterest to find a tutorial on how to put it all together. I found this great tutorial from Dana Made It on how to sew on sleeves, and this Craftstylish post on how to sew a neckline.

After stabbing myself in the hands with pins several dozen times, I got it finished without bleeding all over it!

Maybe I should have picked up the fabric scraps from the floor before I took a photo.

I don't know how well it shows in these pictures but I did have some problems with the armpits and the neckline is a little wide, but it isn't a problem on this top as Jack hates having tight neck holes pulled over his head.

I think overall this was a success. I'm very proud of myself for managing to make something wearable on my first try, and most importantly Jack loves them.

I cropped his head out intentionally. I'm not that bad with a camera.